I recently stumbled across a gem of a site: useKJVonly.com. Now, most of us have heard of the "KJV-only" nutso crowd, who proudly show off their ignorance to all who will listen.
Of course, there's no point in going through the vast multitude of reasons why "use KJV only" is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous stances in all of Christendom, because many before me have already done this. A simple knowledge of the history of the KJV itself should dispel any notions about it being "the one true Bible."
But none of that is really the point of this post. I just wanted to post a few quotes from useKJVonly.com's absolute GEM of a tract, "Harry Potter: The Sorcerer & the Lake of Fire". We are informed that to "get to heaven" we must "Repent: Stop doing sinful things, including Harry Potter." So THAT'S the "key to Heaven": I need to STOP doing Harry Potter. Noted. Wait, does that just mean Daniel Radcliffe when he's dressed as Harry Potter, or do I have to stop doing Daniel Radcliffe altogether?
The tract also points out that we should "[N]ot suffer a witch to live" (according to Exodus). That, apparently, includes fictional witches who live in a world where non-witches are called "muggles". However, since none of Harry Potter's witches are actually available for us to kill, I think the tract is saying we should kill children who dress up as witches (including Harry Potter character-witches!).
You heard it here first: "KJV-only crowd: 'Stop doing Daniel Radcliffe, kill children.'"