Wednesday, February 25, 2009

All the 2008 Movies I Saw

As I looked over a list of every single movie that released in 2008, I realized I have seen a LOT of movies. Wow. So, starting with the January releases, all the way through December, I'll give a (very) brief summary of all the movies I saw that released in 2008:

It was supposed to be scary. It wasn't. At all. Clich├ęs galore!

Quite possibly the worst Jason Statham movie ever. However, Ray Liotta was hilarious in this one.

This one wins the "Disappointing Movie of the Year" Award. I want one of those magical battery-never-dies-dropped-abused-always-ok-still-filming-what-a-camera video cameras. This is one of those movies that you have to see on the Big Screen, so you get the full impact of the Disappointment.

This movie was full of annoying bad acting moments and poor dialogue. BUT, it almost redeemed itself because **WARNING SPOILER COMING** Elijah Wood kills himself at the end of the movie.

Actually, not a bad torture/crime/serial killer flick. More importantly, Colin Hanks isn't incredibly annoying in this movie. So there you have it.

This somewhat-disjointed movie actually turned out to be pretty good. And it made me finally respect Brendan Fraser as an actor.

I am extremely ashamed to say I have seen this. Let's put it this way: this is a Happy Madison (Adam Sandler) movie that sucks too much for him to be in it (I know, is there a level of suck to which Adam Sandler cannot go?).  As unfathomably sucky as that sounds, that's how much this movie sucked.

This turned out to be an OK movie. Jessica Alba is pretty good-looking.

In my defense, I saw it on a plane.

Flat out one of the best movies of the year. It renewed my faith in Colin Farrell. Really, EXCELLENT flick.

Actually, an entertaining popcorn movie. Way to not suck as much as you used to, Hayden.

This movie was made by Michel Gondry (who has done many VERY good movies) and stars Mos Def, Jack Black, and Danny Glover! And yet... it was pretty... awful. It was a "likable" movie, but it really was one-star work.

This movie took what could have been an OK idea and threw enough of it in the movie to bore the audience to tears. Literally.

Again, my only defense is I saw it on a plane. Gun-to-the-head-awful movie.

This is a heist movie that was refreshing in that it was true to the fact that amateur bank robbers do really stupid things.

I was well-pleased with this movie. It was like 28 Days Later meets Mad Max.  And in what other movie do you get to see a (fake) rabbit shot with an automatic motion-sensitive machine gun?

This movie had potential. It had Naomi Watts, Tim Roth... all the makings of a good horror movie. But. This movie chose to spit on its audience. Over and over again. Two thumbs down.

Meh. Not bad. Another poor remake of (in my opinion) poor Japanese cinema. But kinda creepy.

Yay blackjack. It's a teen movie. But it has Kevin Spacey. There were a lot of things to hate about this movie, but overall it was a decent film.

Apparently this was based on a book. Read the book.

If you hate yourself you should spend 88 minutes of your life watching this movie.

You know what? This movie stars Keanu Reeves. You know what else? It was a pretty cool movie. Definitely worthwhile.

This is the movie that was supposed to make us feel like all illegal aliens are really nice people who play the congas. Instead it just made me bored and vow never to get to know someone who doesn't look like me because they're probably just an illegal alien and they will be deported and break my heart when I lose their friendship.

This movie taught me that med students who work in pathology are really just serial killers who like to drink and have wild sex on weekends.

This was a good, if completely predictable, movie. Actually had some great acting from Uma Thurman and Evan Rachel Wood.

Don't be deceived into thinking this movie is worth your time!

I thought it was a decent comic book action hero movie.

Quite possibly one of the best movies I have ever seen. Really, it was spectacular.

Narnia is trying so hard to be the kid-friendliER Lord of the Rings. But it fails. Epicly. Too colorful. Too bright. Too long. And I prefer the campy BBC Narnia movies.

What a thoroughly lame movie. I felt like I was watching Indiana Jones fan-fiction written by The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy.

This John Cusack movie was a refreshingly vibrant and sardonically comedic look at the business of war. Worth a watch.

I tried really hard to be scared. I couldn't. This movie was predictable and flat. Not even the "based on a true story" lie at the beginning helped this movie hit closer to home.

This movie of the winner of the Worst Film of the Year award.

I think I saw this one but I don't remember a thing about it. That tells you something.

This film showed M. Night Shyamalan's true colors. We caught glimpses of his suckage in The Village, but it wasn't until this movie that we truly got to see just how bad of a writer this guy is. The Sixth Sense must have been a fluke. Or beginner's luck.

Edward Norton, oh how the mighty have fallen. It was better than Ang Lee's gumby-garbage Hulk, but it still somehow was a fail in my mind. Maybe it's that the idea of the Hulk is just kind of... dumb. "Garrrr! I get angry and turn green and become huge! Garr!"

This movie proved that Extremely Lame movies can still pull in big money from all the 14-year-old boys who spike their hair and think they're cool.

Likable, cheesy, predictable. But it had Jason Bateman. So I liked it.

This movie cancelled out my respect for Brendan Fraser from The Air I Breathe.

It failed to live up to the hype, but only because the hype was WAYYYYY too loud. Overall I thought it was a solid movie.

Very well-done, but exactly what one would expect out of an X-Files movie. No surprises here. It was like watching a 90-minute episode. Meh. Good times.

Entertaining, yes. Terrible, yes. Would I watch again? Never.

I was pleasantly surprised. This turned out to be a good horror movie. Not a suspenseful, edge-of-your-seat kind of movie, but just a solid slasher flick.

As much as I normally despise Judd Apatow movies, this one was alright. Kind of humorous, kind of buddy-movie. It was not nearly as bad as I expected it to be.

Although it had its moments, this movie was more vulgar than it was funny. Great performance by Robert Downey Jr., though.

I have to say, I was genuinely creeped-out by this movie. Well done.

This was one of the most fun movies of the year. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it, and would certainly watch it again. Another triumph for the Coen Bros.

This was actually an OK "heart-warming" movie. Ricky Gervais is hilarious.

Yet another just-OK action flick.

Humorous, likable. This was an OK movie. Just don't expect anything in the same league as Fight Club.

This was a funny movie.

Goodness I've gone all the way through the movies that released from January-October. I'm tired now. I'll finish the list October-December later.


Ben said...

Helpful hint to save hours of your life: Invest time in some classics (assuming the sound and picture were remastered at some point in the last 8 years - classics deserve proper sound, contrast, grain levels, and some degree of scratch/dust/dirt removal). I feel sorry for the majority of your 2008 experiences. But perhaps you have a higher tolerance for crap than I. When I see a movie below a 7/10, I want to physically destory something to vent my anger at the people responsbile for wasting millions on potentially entertaining material, and then I believe that somehow through physical destruction I can regain the lost 90-120 minutes. And at the VERY least, I work off some of the 100,000 calories from the bag of Sour Patch Kids ingested during the film, because as its crapiness increased, my anger caused my candy snarfing to increase at a furious pace.

Thesst said...

A bunch of those movies I saw at the $3 theatre we have here in Reno, and a bunch of the others were the result of discovering the joys of Redbox.

The quality of movies I watched went up as the year went on and I started just downloading the movies I wanted to see.

Ben said...

Yes, but however and whenever you see them, to have made it through so much without burning down a small swath of forest takes the control of someone much greater than I...

I saw the DVD cover for Midnight Meat Train and now am intrigued.

Thesst said...

Vinnie Jones is perfect in his role in that movie.

Ben said...

Speaking of Mr. Jones, I got RcknRolla from Netflix yesterday and plan to watch it Friday night. There hasn't been a good Guy Ritchie British-mob/gangster movie for a long time, and I've heard good things.

Thesst said...

Hopefully better than his last outing...

djlol said...

Of all the movies I've seen on that list, I totally approve of your ratings. Have you seen Sex Drive?

Thesst said...

Nope, I can't say I've seen Sex Drive.